The institution of marriage is the socially recognized union between a man and a woman that serves to legitimate their children. In most societies of the world, the husband and wife live together. Because a primary, although not essential, purpose of marriage is the procreation of children, sex is always recognized as a legitimate part of marriage.
Marriages are either arranged between families, or are begun through a courtship in which the partners have found one another. Arranged marriages are predominant primarily in societies that place great importance on property inheritance, on linkages between lineages, or in which elders hold that young people are unable to make sound choices. Arranged marriages, taken as a whole, work as well as any other form of marriage. The bride and groom tend to expect far less, and the roles are far more clearly spelled out than in societies in which spouses select their own spouses.
With the arrival of a child, the marriage partners face an important new set of roles – not just the roles of father and mother but those of co-parent. In some cultures, the standard of behavior for parents is rigidly enforced by society and leaves little room for deviation. In others, as in modern Western societies, such roles are less clearly defined, and questions of parenting can lead to considerable tension between the spouses or between the child’s parents and grandparents.
Although monogamy, the marriage of one man and one woman at a time, is the rule in Western societies, many other cultures allow plural marriage, or polygamy. People involved in polygamous marriages generally have sought different rewards in marriage from those sought in a monogamous union.
In most cultures divorce is allowed, and divorced persons may, and often do, remarry. Instances such as divorce make one question why in the first place two people decide to marry. Divorces are the reason why there are many broken families and broken children in the world. We can see famous personalities such as actors and singers marry and then divorce each other. On would wonder if they ever planned to stay together, or were they really sure that they would like to commit to each other at the time they decided to get married.
Marriage is a wonderful opportunity to share your life with someone. But instances such as marital fights and divorce can make one scared of the very notion of getting married. Sometimes, even in relationships where two people would fight, we sometimes catch ourselves saying something so preposterous you want to burst out laughing. Yes, laughable but times like this makes one wonder if you two are really meant for marriage.
If one wants to get married, he or she should be smart enough to know when you are just engaging in a childish, relationship-destroying behavior with your boyfriend or girlfriend but too stubborn to stop. Such behavior cannot and should not continue throughout marriage for it would be the very reason for parting of ways.
You get too close to a person, you really get open and loving and vulnerable, and the next thing you know you get dumped for somebody else. You may feel it’s best to keep your options open. Your disillusionment could be so great that you’ve decided it’s best to avoid love and marriage entirely. This is actually true at some part of our lives. We get dumped by someone too often, see many couples separate ways and divorce, see children raised by only one parent because the other parent left them, all these and more makes one decide that it might be better not to get married and have a family after all.
But hey, who are you kidding? Who am I kidding? Are you going to believe your own hogwash? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with nobody to love and probably die alone in bed in the middle of the night and not have your body discovered until the next hot spell? I shudder to think that it would happen to me. Of course, you could live with your sister or with a friend and you wouldn’t worry about dying alone, but still such kind of relationship is not marriage.
Deep within ourselves, a remote little part of us is going to rescue us from going old alone. That part that is willing to laugh when you say something preposterous or to admit it when you act like a stubborn child. The part whose sole responsibility is to save you from yourself.
And so, you realize that although some of us fear marriage, it is not something that we should altogether avoid. Marital fights are a part of marriage. The solution is to deal with it and solve it in any way possible. It does not necessarily have to end in divorce. Both of you decided to get married, and so it is both your responsibility to stay within it.
Perhaps, before deciding to get married, two people who are in a relationship should talk over their relationship and if they are willing to go through the next level. If one wants to get married, they must be sure that in the long run, they will not regret their actions. This is what you could perhaps call choosing well. Two people can see if they are really compatible with each other. Two good people can create a bad relationship even if they want to have the relationship succeed. Also, one must not marry for the sold purpose of sexual compatibility. That alone cannot hold a relationship, how much more a marriage. It is true that many people get married for the wrong reasons. Some would get married because the girl is already pregnant. Although this would save the child and the girl’s reputation, this still won’t be a basis that the marriage will succeed.
Marriage is a miracle in which the efforts of both partners are needed. When one should get into marriage, he or she must be sure that he or she will not be tempted into that which was not chosen, he or she must be sure that this is the person whom I would like to grow old with. Marriage is a blessing also and must be seen as such by two parties entering the sacrament of marriage. Marriage is actually not a hard part of life, if both partners are compatible and have chosen well. Marriage could be fun.
So one must not fear marriage, yet one must also not hurry to get into marriage. For getting into marriage for the wrong reasons could jeopardize one’s life and even another person’s life. If two people are not ready and not sure to get into marriage, then perhaps it is better that they wait. As they say, if two people are meant for each other, then their paths will cross again and they will be united at the right time. A good marriage is worth all the patience and the time.
Credit:ivythesis.typepad.com
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