College Essay
Introduction
The education of the child starts at home. So basically, it is the mother and the father who were the first teachers of the child. This is what we call as child rearing. This is a topic that is often disagreed upon mothers and fathers. Frequently, their opinion is biased as a result of how they were raised. As parents, it is important to select an approach to child rearing that is approved by both the father and mother. This may necessitate compromise and the identification of the middle ground. Through child rearing, it would be easy to get the child’s response especially when the child is ready to go to school to learn (1998). Educating and disciplining a child is tricky. They can be devious and naughty but it requires the patience of the parent to handle such situations. It is how a child would learn as he or she grows up. How they are nurtured would remain forever in their lives and would reflect his or her character.
Training and Educating Children
Character training is, in some senses, the more important focus of a good home school. Our children need adequate knowledge, but even more, they need good character to prepare them for adult life. Responsibility is one of the most important elements of good character. Responsibility begins with a mentality, or set of presuppositions, which you pass on to your child unconsciously.
If your world view is that children should only play and please themselves throughout their childhood, they are sure to live down to that expectation and complain about their chores. If your world view is that children can not help but be selfish and unhelpful, that expectation becomes clear to the child, whether or not you say it right out. The surest way to raise selfish, rude, contentious, unhelpful children is to have low expectations. If, on the other hand, your world view is that everyone should contribute to the well-being of all, no matter their ages and ability levels, your actions, attitudes, and expectations will reflect that, and your young child will begin to learn the value of responsibility.
Sadly though, several parents fail to recognize these. There are many cases wherein parents would beat, scolds and insults the child as their way of disciplining them (2002). These violent methods would cause the child’s immature mind to receive the wound which would eventually affect their psychology and the personality health development. This would also result to the child to become more violent when he or she grows up. So non-violent methods are a more effective way of training children.
Violent Method of Training Children
Children being disciplined in a violent way would become a more violent person when they grow up. Thus, it is not a good idea to slap your children, insult them in such a way that would offend them totally. That is not the right way for disciplining them. The way they are treated as a child would affect them psychologically and they would carry this burden when they grow up ( 2003). They would also tend to use the same way to their children because they think that by being violent, you will be respected. Several parents intentionally instill into the violence consciousness in the home education to the child. Never spank, hit, or slap a child of any age. Babies and toddlers are especially unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit.
Furthermore, it is also not good to be so overprotective to the child or else he or she will grow up to be very spoiled. This method will cause the child to show no respect to you. What she or he wants, he or she gets. They expect it. Spoiled children also tend to grow up to be self-centered, not caring the life of others.
According to (2005), babies and toddlers are naturally curious and the best way to discipline a young child is to eliminate temptations and keep his environment relatively free of no-nos or items to be out of his reach. Timeouts can be effective discipline for toddlers when simply redirecting their attention won’t work. It is also vital to keep in mind that children learn by watching you. Make sure that your behavior is role-model material. Consistency is also crucial. The parent has to make good on any promises of discipline or else you will risk undermining your authority. Kids have to believe that you mean what you say. The parent also has to be careful not to make unrealistic threats of punishment in anger, since not following through could weaken all your threats ( 2003). Make sure you do exactly that. Huge punishments may take away the parent’s power. If you ground your son for a month, he may not feel motivated to change his behavior because everything has already been taken away. Punishment does not promote self discipline. It only stops misbehavior for that moment. Punishment may fulfill a short-term goal, but it actually interferes with the accomplishment of your long-term goal of self control. Children who are disciplined without affection respond only to power–which means punishment and “have to be made to do.” When discipline is administered in such a way as to hurt a child’s self-esteem or self-worth, the child’s standards may become rigid or self-punishing. However, affection without discipline may result in children who deny responsibility or blame others. Parents and teachers of successful children maintain control.
Conclusion
When children are born, they are like blank slates on which their parents’ help to script the beginnings of the stories of their lives. Every child grows up and ultimately charts his own destiny, but his parents lay the foundation. And everybody knows the consequences of building on a weak foundation. Disciplining your children is one way of setting them on the right path and equipping them to wing it on their own. Discipline is guidance. When we guide children toward positive behavior and learning, we are promoting a healthy attitude. Positive guidance encourages a child to think before he acts. Positive guidance promotes self-control. Different styles of discipline produce results that are different (1999). Discipline requires thought, planning, and patience. Disciplining a child is comparable to walking a tightrope. Parents have to maintain a delicate balance between over-indulgence and authoritarianism. However, parents often do not perceive discipline as being such a delicate business. For most parents, discipline operates on a simple principle. If the child does not meet the standards of ‘good’ behavior set by the parents, he must be disciplined. This is one way of looking at it. The child that does not tidy his room or one that throws a tantrum or one that talk back to his parents…all of them must be disciplined. But these are short-term goals that shift from situation to situation (1999). Disciplining is not only about showing your child who’s the boss. This is a very shortsighted approach. In general, people do not react favorably to criticism and children are no different. If a child is frequently criticized by a person whose opinion he values (in this case the parent), he may lose confidence in his judgment and actions. So parents have to realize that discipline is about more than getting your child to clean up his room or controlling a tantrum. In the long run, disciplining your child is aimed at teaching him to internalize the standards of behavior so that he can be the judge of his own behavior and realize what is acceptable and what is not. Parents have to teach their children what is good as well as what is bad. Therefore, discipline does not merely involve correcting their mistakes, but also showing them the right thing to do. Thus discipline does not have to be just a negative process, but with constructive criticism it can become a positive experience (1999). Parents want to discipline their children in such a way that their children don’t view them as the enemy and understand that disciplining stems from love and concern. Parents also want to raise children who understand the consequences of their actions and take responsibility for them.
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