Introduction
Shunryu Suzuki once said, “Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer”. True enough, everyone must face transition in one point of his or her life. I am not an exception. At first, I thought high school life and the way I feel throughout those four years will be the same as I go along my college life. But I was wrong. College is entirely different from what I picture it to be.
High school versus college life
During my high school, the school is relatively small with a limited size of student population. The teacher and instructors are not-too-lenient and not-too-strict to the students. The schedules were non-flexible and dress codes were imposed yet students are living carefree lifestyles. The high school administration also restrains students from activities and events such as student organizations, school play auditions, school dance and etc. Tolerable misbehaviors were also in existence. Pressures on deadlines, for example, were not really given precision since students can get remedial classes. What I am trying to say is that, high school is so open and also suppressing as teachers and parents give students a limited choice regarding what to wear, what to eat, where to go on vacations and how to deal with things. On a lighter note, however, these are all in good terms for the students since they are only doing their jobs as teachers and guardians. Also, the concerns of the high school students are somewhat shallow compared to the college students. Before, upon waking up, the things that I would always think about was what will I look like in my uniform, what’s for breakfast, will I be late, what will happen to me if I had not finished my assignment last night, what will happen next to the soap opera with that hell-of-a-cute guy and so on.
When graduation came I was overwhelmed and scared, too. I must face yet another pace of my life that I never had any idea about. Thoughts consume me. I have to make a life decision that would dictate and shape my future. Upon entering to college, I was determined to write papers, read books and do researches as required. But more than this, I had to sustain my relationships and build other relationships among the people that I newly met. I was forced to keep a balance between my personal, family, social and academic life. I wonder how am I going to juggle all of this. My responsibilities grew as I was pressured to get good grades, to belong and to get involved. I was also astounded of how can I manage the many freedom that I have now compared to high school. At times, I feel like losing control and give in to temptations of drugs, alcohol, sex and parties. Everyday it felt like I was being measured to others, I was competing endlessly with time and the university, and yet I still have to prove myself. As carelessness is slowly taking away from me, I had to move out of my comfort zone and throw away my security blanket. I psyche myself. I asked myself what I would want to see of myself in 10, 20 or even 30 years from now. If this is what I wanted how am I going to succeed. That struck me, I had to be responsible enough to take care of myself and stand for what I believed in, be responsible to whatever decision that I am going to make from now on. I must understand that more than being just a student in the university, I must get involved positively.
Understanding the Changes
Two of the most important psychoanalysts are and . As part of the psychodynamic therapy or the insight-oriented therapy, unconscious processes which stems from our infancy to puberty are manifested in our present behaviors. ’s psychoanalysis serves as the foundation of the psychodynamic therapy (, 2006). This is the drive or the structural model – the id, ego and superego. Freud claimed that we are born with our id which allows o meet our basic needs and as we interact more, the second part of our personality, which is the geo, develops. Ego is based n the principle of reality while sustaining the needs and expectations of the id. Moreover, as toddlers, our superego develops which constitutes our moral being or simply the conscience-development (, 2001).
, on the other hand, claimed the object relation theory. As a theory of relationship between people, observed that individuals had personal attachment relationships on his/her immediate surrounding specially between the mother and her child. considers a child which has multiple internal objects. In connection, the attachment theory relates that an infant has several instinctual responses through signals such as crying, smiling, laughing, frowning and etc (1984). The theory also explains that individuals go through a series of separation responses as protest, despair and denial or detachment. Such phases follow anxiety, grief and mourning and repression, respectively (, 1969, 1973, 1980).
Generally, ’s study focuses on introjection (putting inside) while ’s findings deal with projection (sending outside) (, 1988, ). Introjection is the process of resonating into a subject’s own feelings, behaviour, attributes and attitudes from external objects whereas the actions and tendencies purports toward the individual or the subject (, 1949, ). As opposed to introjection, projection is the mechanism of taking the internal world towards the external subjects while maintaining the usual comfortability (). Both are perceived to be defense mechanisms that protect the interests and position of any individual experiencing transitions or changes in their lives.
What was happening to me I understand is the concept of adjustment and later adaptability. My responses of the changes that I am experiencing accounts to such process and the condition of my surrounding which are, in return, accountable for the structural qualities of my personality (, 1998, ). The subsequent situation purports on evolutionary relativism wherein my attention was turned into objection while circumstances change around me (). Perhaps, my acquired and innate knowledge are unconsciously telling me to refuse bad influences in my college life as we already knew the difference of right and wrong. My eyes are wide open to realities that I may face serious consequences if I dwell into these kinds of influences. I realized that I may be too attached to my high school life not wanting to let go and face my current life as a college student. It felt hard to be separated from those people I got emotionally acquainted and attached with like friends and a carefree lifestyle.
Conclusion
Both and findings can be related into any individuals’ change experiences. As such, social and personal needs are directly associated with the maturity levels of a person. To wit, I have different set of needs in high school and a completely different set of need in my college years and thus, as people develop their needs and perhaps their expectations also changes.
People also go through different phases of their respective lives while experiencing changes either imposed or natural. They follow the same pattern of adjusting and relating to their environment either introjectively and/or projectively. Either way, however, a support must first and foremost come from the individual him/herself. What I want to say is that, since we are responsible for our decisions and our being, then, it is our duty to protect our own feelings and guard our behaviors and attitudes to avoid misgiving and regrets at the end. Individuals experiencing changes must rely and be responsible.
In sustaining relationships, anxieties must be addressed prior to making a new one since this might affect on how are we going to treat the people that seems to be strangers for us. Hence, the ability to cope with changes must be internal. And since you have to identify yourself with others, control and responsible choosing are the keys. Though, changes may alter the degree of freedom and control we once experienced, we must still deal with it as an adult and act as adults as well.
At times, we may jeopardize our ability to cope with changes as we keep pressing the idea that this is a defense mechanism not realizing that because of this attitude, we are missing a lot. In lieu, an individual must first seek to psyche themselves and determine their readiness for changes. It is very important to know yourself. Decisions must be based on weighing the pros and cons of the situation or the changes at hand. However, the realization of the fact that everything changes, makes us the renewed persons that we must be. This shall include the power to belong and get involved proactively in whatever phase of change we are experiencing at the moment.
Bibliography
Credit:ivythesis.typepad.com
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