Article#1: Don’t Run Out Of Esteem September 10, 2006
Self-esteem is an attitude of acceptance and non-judgment toward one’s self and others. Self-esteem is essential for psychological survival. Without it, life can be greatly painful, with many basic needs going unmet.
The ability to be aware of ourselves is what separates us from other animals. This is the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. For instance, you have the capacity to define who you are and then make a decision as to whether or not you like that identity.
The potential problem lies with our capacity for judgment. It is OK to like or dislike certain foods, colors, clothes, etc. However, when you reject parts of yourself, you greatly damage your psychological well-being.
Judging and rejecting yourself causes a great deal of pain. This pain results in a myriad of difficulties for you in your daily life. These problems include things, such as difficulties in relationships, passing up career opportunities, limiting your self-expression sexually, limiting your ability to ask for help, increased depression and anxiety, and so on.
To avoid the distress caused by your own self-criticism, you have learned to build barriers of defense to protect your ego. These defenses are numerous, including blame, anger, becoming a perfectionist in your work and making excuses or using food or drugs to combat these painful feelings.
Our self-esteem may have been shaped by our parents early in life. However, it is later in life when we have the ability to re-condition the things we have learned, if we so desire. As adults, we can no longer blame our parents for their mistakes. As adults, we have a choice. Either we live as victims forever, or we do something to better today and our future.
The fact is that self-esteem and your circumstances are indirectly related. Cognitive psychologists propose that there is an intervening variable between those circumstances and your self-esteem: your thoughts.
Unfortunately, many of us have this internal critical voice that operates day and night. This critic helps to protect your ego, but only on a temporary basis. In the long run, this critical voice will reduce your self-esteem, making life nearly unbearable.
Every conscious moment of our lives is filled with self-talk. When we form ideas about the way we “should” be, we have a tendency to feel bad or disappointed if we fail to live up to those standards.
Begin taking note of your reaction to the situations, in which you find yourself. Focus on the type of thinking you are engaged in, and how it relates to your feelings about the situation. Make an attempt to alter your thinking about each situation, and then become aware of the change in the related emotion.
For example, after eating a couple of cookies, rather than telling yourself, “What a fat pig I am” and then eating the rest of the box, tell yourself, “I only had two cookies, and it’s better than eating the entire box.” Think about the consequences of the first scenario. This type of thinking is irrational and destructive, and it will cause great damage to your sense of self-esteem and self-worth.
Changing the way you think will have a profound effect on your overall well-being. Flexible thinking and self-praise are the keys to a positive sense of self worth. It is important to begin using positive self-statements to enhance your self-esteem. Learning to think in a positive manner takes practice. It will not happen overnight. Remember, anything worthwhile takes time and patience.
Summary: According to the author, Dr. Susan Mendelsohn, self-esteem is important in our daily psychological survival. It is the attitude of acceptance and non-judgment toward one’s self and others. It is our ability to define ourselves that separates us from the other animals. With this ability, we tend to judge ourselves and this is where the problem lies. Judging and then rejecting our own selves causes a lot of pain. To avoid self-destructive self-criticism, Dr. Mendelsohn suggests that the keys to a positive sense of self worth are flexible thinking and self-praise. However, she also reminds us that a positive manner doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and patience.
Comment: Self-esteem or self-worth includes a person’s subjective assessment of himself or herself as essentially positive or negative to some degree. In relation to what Dr. Mendelsohn noted, self-criticisms often lead to destructive aura of an individual. She clearly pointed that self-praise and flexible thinking would eventually appraise ourselves in positive view. Moreover, we should have conscious control over our minds. Remember, it’s all in the mind!
Article #2: The Doctor Is Within September 5, 2006
By Katie Gilbert in Psychology Today
We put a lot of faith in the medical establishment these days, and doctors can certainly tell us a great deal about our constitution. But there’s one person who knows more about your health than any doctor—you. As it turns out, the answer to one deceptively simple question—”How would you rate your own health?”—predicts disease and longevity more accurately than even the most thorough medical records.
Why are our own health assessments so dead on? Maybe because we monitor our ups and downs and symptoms 24/7—a perspective no doctor has access to.
“We know things that physicians cannot physically detect,” says Yael Benyamani, a health psychologist at Tel-Aviv University in Israel. Fatigue and appetite fluctuations, for example, can be symptoms of declining health, and you’re likely to be much more attuned to them than is your doctor.
Decades of studies show that people who say their health is poor are likely to die sooner than those who rate their health excellent, even after controlling for how sick people actually are. The association is independent of medical diagnoses, symptoms or level of disability. In other words, the way we rate our own health reflects something beyond what doctors have the power to diagnose. But what?
Summary: The author stated that we play a vital role in diagnosis. Our conscious mind delves into detecting certain changes in our mind and body that rates our own health. This is a huge help where we could predict certain illnesses that could help our physicians head on. But the issue is, on what grounds could we rely on our intuition?
Comment: Intuition is an immediate form of knowledge in which the knower is directly acquainted with the object of knowledge. Intuition differs opinion since intuition is a way of experiencing objects, while opinion is based on that experience. Intuition also differs from instinct, which does not necessarily have the experiential element at all. But the bigger question is, could we trust our intuition with our health? Sometimes we override our intuitive gut-level reactions altogether, ignoring our native responses in favor of ways we think, for external reasons — such as to coincide with the judgments of others — we should be reacting. We are capable of making sound judgments about food and, often, people, based on nonconscious processes, but if we deliberately think about our preferences and decisions we can actually make them worse. There is still no substitute for gathering information about any task or situation before us. But neither should we be afraid of not knowing every reason why we feel the way we do in every situation.
Personal Interview:
My interview subject is a friend of mine who works as a writer. She lives with her dog. She owns a car and her apartment looks more of a library.
My name is Marian. I work as a writer but at times I do freelance work. I’m 24 years old. I love to read and cook. I also love to play online games.
Not really. But I do see someone. We go on dates every weekend actually. Its more of a no-commitment sort of thing. Its more secure. I think. Though at times I go wondering where we’re headed. It would be embarrassing to ask though I’m tempted at times.
I love my work. Its what keeps me going. I don’t have any conflicts at work right now and I’m not planning to create one in the. Though its unavoidable, it would still be best to keep out of trouble.
I have friends whom I’ve had since high school and college days. I even have one from the 6th grade. We often see other after work. Since we live in the same area, at times, we’d go home together.
I visit my parents every weekend. We’d cook lunch and I’d stay ‘till dinner. Sometimes, I even spend the night. I’d bring over my pooch, Hershey. They love her.
I’d say I’m fairly satisfied with my personal relationships right now. Though when it comes to my love life, I’m not into any serious thing. I have other plans ahead of me.
It has always been my dream to be writer. I’ve been a part of our school paper back in high school and in college. A few years back I had worked a few jobs that helped me understand more of the corporate world. It kind of prepared me for what I was about to encounter later on.
As I said, I love my job.
There are things that are hard to accomplish and there are some things that are fairly easy. I’d want to set goals that are challenging but at the same time, achievable in a sense.
I want myself to keep grounded.
It depends on whom I have conflict with or what kind of problem I’m facing. If it involves financial matters then it would certainly be a pain in the ass. I’d hate to think about money all the time. Everybody else says its what keeps the world turning but I say money can’t buy happiness.
It would really be hard on me. I’ve worked my butt off the whole week and the thing that would relax me on weekends is to see him. It would be disappointing to know that he’d want to be left alone for the night. I’d be heartbroken.
But hey! If he needs some time off, why not?!
Fairly satisfied. I believe I’m at mid-success. Though there are still some things left to achieve personally. Like a family of my own.
Overview:
Marian is a very busy person. But she makes sure she spends equal amounts of time with every aspect of her life. She wants everything to be organized to prevent any conflicts. The problem is, thinking about her future plans creates some sort of unfulfilled assignment.
Credit:ivythesis.typepad.com
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